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What to Do If a Loved One Refuses Treatment

It’s one of the hardest parts of loving someone struggling with substance use: you try to bring it up, and they push back. After a few attempts, it’s easy to wonder whether anything you say matters. But the truth is, it does. Even if your loved one isn’t ready for help right now, there are still steps you can take to increase their safety, comfort, and your own well-being.

In this post, we explore the reasons why someone might refuse help for substance use and ways to support a loved one when they aren’t ready to start treatment. 

Common Reasons People Refuse Help for Substance Abuse

Individuals struggling with addiction may refuse treatment for a variety of reasons. Some are afraid of change or worry about what others might think. Others may not see their substance use as a problem or believe that nobody can help them. Regardless of their reason, it’s important to remember that the decision to seek treatment ultimately belongs to them. Respecting their choice, while difficult, is the first step toward building trust and offering effective addiction recovery and support.

Choose the Right Moment to Talk about Treatment

Starting a conversation at the right time can make a big difference in how your loved one responds. Choose a quiet moment when you are both free from distractions and have time to talk things through. If your loved one becomes agitated or angry, pause the conversation and give them space. You can always try again later.

  • Tip: Before you begin, make sure you are calm and collected. Approaching the discussion with composure helps your loved one feel safe and reduces the chance of arguments.

Communicate Honestly and Compassionately

Avoid lecturing, threatening, or repeatedly pressuring your loved one, since these approaches usually lead to more resistance. Instead, focus on listening more than speaking. Ask open-ended questions, reflect on what you are hearing, and validate their feelings without condoning harmful behavior.

  • Tip: Use “I” statements to reduce defensive reactions. For example, “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately” and “I’m worried” can be more productive than “You need to stop,” or “You have a problem.”

Offer Encouragement Without Pressure

Let your loved one know that help is available whenever they are ready, and share information about treatment programs without rushing them to enroll right away. If they express interest, offer to help them look up information, make phone calls, set appointments, or arrange transportation. It’s important to follow their lead and focus on small steps instead of big changes.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Supporting a loved one doesn’t mean tolerating harmful behavior or putting your own safety at risk. Decide in advance what you will and won’t do, and stick to those limits. For example, you might choose not to give money, lie for them, or cover up consequences related to substance use. Communicate your boundaries calmly, without arguing or trying to negotiate in the moment. Clear limits protect your well-being and reduce unintentional enabling.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Living with someone who isn’t ready for treatment can wear you down and lead to burnout. To protect yourself from becoming overwhelmed, make time for activities you enjoy or that help you unwind, such as reading, exercising, or spending time with friends. If you are feeling alone, consider joining a support group or speaking with a mental health therapist.

What to Do During Emergencies 

Call emergency services right away if you are concerned about a possible overdose, suicidal statements, violence, or any medical emergency. If the situation feels unsafe, prioritize getting yourself and others to a safe place, then call for help as soon as you can.

Not Sure What to Do When a Loved One Refuses Treatment? Reach out to MERIT

If caring for your loved one is causing you stress or emotional strain, MERIT is here to help. We offer behavioral health services and group therapy programs that support families and friends who are struggling with these challenges. Should your loved one decide to seek help in the future, MERIT provides CARF-accredited alcohol and addiction recovery services in English and Spanish at seven locations throughout Central Washington.

Call MERIT at 877-789-3344 to schedule a consultation with an addiction recovery specialist. Have questions about what to do when a loved one refuses substance abuse treatment? Contact our team to learn more.

MERIT is a leading provider of alcohol and substance abuse treatment programs in Ellensburg, Kennewick, Pasco, Sunnyside, Toppenish, Wapato, and Yakima.